Fighting Dystonia, Chronic Lyme Disease & EDS Type 3… any questions?

Posts tagged ‘thoughts’

My thoughts and theory’s

So today my head it full of things bouncing off each other. I had a theory that I touched on briefly post or two ago that I have now put into action. Today I went to specsavers to get my eyes tested, as I was convinced my last eye prescription was wrong, my thoughts was right. My eyes often feel like there being strained and I find it hard to focus on words or the TV etc. as it really hurts my eyes. This, I think, is why my eyes then spasm upwards and go blind. Therefore today when I purchased my new glasses I also had a tint put on them and anti-glare (the Optician felt it was necessary, and would help my eyes a lot). If my theory is right then this should completely stop my blindness. I am hoping that my theory is right!

I would love to talk to my consultant about this theory and all the amazing improvements I am making at the moment, so that he is kept up to date and could offer his own thoughts and advice. Somehow though I don’t think this will happen any time soon, especially as the urgent email (he told us to email him if we needed him) we sent him 4 weeks ago has still gone unanswered, despite phoning his secretary to chase it each week. This I find slightly odd as when I was not his patient he answered our emails the very next day. I shall just wait/chase them some more and see what happens.

I am still mega excited about the prospect of returning to uni in September! I am still improving a little bit more ever day, which I am taking as a positive sign. Therefore I have completely thrown myself back into studying/revising the topics we did at uni. I just cannot wait to be back there!

 

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On Top Of The World

Today I have woken up and found myself to be in a great mood, with a huge grin spread across my face! The reason for this is that over the last few weeks I have slowly accomplished more and more. I am feeling pretty proud of myself! When my Dystonia started affecting more of my body, I found myself focusing on all the things I wouldn’t be able to do/ would struggle to do. Yet now as I look back over the last few months, I find that I have managed to do so much more than I ever thought I would be able to.

Though some of these accomplishments may seem small, such as learning to write with my left hand, for me these are huge steps forwards, that fill me with hope. I can now fill out forms with my left hand, I can go out in public and not worry about what people think of me and I can go shopping and try on clothes!!! All these little things reassure me that I can lead a normal life and enjoy it, despite my dystonia. At the end of the day, my dystonia is part of me, but it does not define me. It is my choices and actions that do.

My big 4.

This morning I was feeling pretty down. All I could think was why me? After everything I have already gone through in my life, how was this fair? After feeling depressed for a few hours I started to think about the way I was looking at my life. At that moment in time I was looking at it all wrong. I was allowing my Dystonia to get on top of me, and I was looking at life from the wrong the point of view.

Instead of filling my head with negative thoughts, I started to focus on the positives. These are my 4 big positives.

1) If I didn’t have Dystonia then I wouldn’t have raised over £700 for the Dystonia society, a charity that provides fantastic support for sufferers.

2) Through this, I have brought awareness of Dystonia, to not only members of the public but also to members of the medical society who had not heard of Dystonia or seen a Dystonia patient before.

3) If I did not have dystonia, then I would not have had created this blog. This blog has not only raised awareness but has also put me in contact with some amazing people!

4) Dystonia has given me strength! The strength to go out in public in my wheelchair and not care what people think. The strength to stand up to the medical society. The strength to speak out and raise awareness! The strength to carry on fighting even when things are looking bleak. The strength and the determination to show the world what I can do. The strength to keep on believing that one day there will be a cure.

 

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