Fighting Dystonia, Chronic Lyme Disease & EDS Type 3… any questions?

Posts tagged ‘picture’

Basking in Positivity

The last few days have been truly fabulous! I got into college to study a Level 3 diploma in reflexology, had a meeting with the learning support team who were completely wonderful about my Dystonia, and today I have been out for lunch with two of my best friends who I had lived with at uni.

My course starts in just under two weeks, and at first will be only be for 3 hours one evening a week and then progressing to each saturday as well when we start working on clients. It is nice to have found something I can be passionate about and to study towards. Being able to study Reflexology is also rather reassuring as I can go on to work from home. I have spent months thinking I would never have a carer, but since taking the antibiotics which have calmed down my Lyme symptoms, I feel empowered and full of hope.

I was thrilled to go out to lunch with my friends this afternoon. Having lived with them at uni, I miss them a lot. I got a taxi up with one of them to the Beefeater, which was a good experience. Normally my mother or a family friend takes me if I’m going  out somewhere, so it has given me confidence knowing that I am able use a taxi service with ease. I felt like a ‘normal’ person and did not feel extremely conscious  like I normally do when in a restaurant.

Having everything go right the last few weeks and has been amazing, I have not had to fight to get what I’m after, which has been a nice change. I feel extremely relaxed. My little Dystonia alien is by no means letting me forget he is there, but I’m giving him no attention and basking in the positivity that is filling my life currently.

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Inquisitive Nature

Two of the most common questions people ask each and every day are how and why. Why do people get ill? How do we know that colour is actually green? Why is it always me? How does this work? Sometime we are not seeking an answer when we ask these question and the question has been asked in rhetorical way e.g why me. However the majority of the time we are seeking an answer. As humans, like the majority of animals, our own nature makes us inquisitive, we like to know the ins and outs of everything and anything, but if you put us in a situation when we cannot find an answer, well then we become fixated.

Which is exactly what is happening to me now. I am completely fixated on what caused my Dystonia, what turned my whole world upside down gave it a good shake and then righted it with all the pieces jumbled up! The logical side of me knows that the chances of me finding out why is extremely small, yet still I try to work it out. I sift through pages and pages of information grasping at any small shred that could contain the answer I’ve been looking for.

No matter how often I tell myself that an answer is not going to make much of a difference, I still continue my search. I am almost amused at myself for how desperate I am for an answer. For even when I find the answer, other than it giving me some piece of mind, it is not going to change much.  However until the doctors agree to help me, I know that I shall keep looking, so that if the day comes when there is no answer, I can sit back and think well at least I tried.

For now though I am going to try to reign in my inquisitive self, and remind myself to spend less time looking for something I may never find and more time enjoying the wonders around me.

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Leg Splint :-D

Leg Splint :-D

Yesterday I visited my local hospital to receive my leg splint from the Orthotic Department. We are hoping that the leg splint shall contain the spasms and enable me to rely on the wheelchair less.

The experiment begins 🙂

 

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