Yesterday I had an appointment with ATOS to prove to them that I am disabled and to discuss/show them how much Dystonia affects me. After some horrific telephone conversations with them, which I am making a formal complaint about, and from reading some dreadful news articles about them, I expected the appointment to be awful. I had mentally prepared myself to meet a rude practitioner who was not prepared to listen. I was therefore pleasantly surprised by the lady who saw me. She came across as if she really did want to help me.
Now I don’t remember much of the appointment due to a few seizures I had whilst I was there but the bits that I do recall and the parts that my mother has informed me of paint a picture that goes in my favour. Upon arrival my feet were already in spasm due to the cold outside, then the lights set my eye spasms off, and some head movements I was asked to do set my head tremor off. The physical assessment side of the appointment was stopped early as the Doctor thought it would be unsafe to carry on with it. Therefore only the verbal information my mother and I gave her (which she typed up) was complete. I left her with copies of two letters from my consultant as well. After everything she saw I do not believe she could write anything against me. However I am still hovering on the side of caution until I receive the report.
This coming Saturday I have an appointment with an Infectious Disease specialist who has an interest in Lyme disease. I am rather excited and nervous for this appointment, as hopefully a treatment plan shall be discussed/put in place. I have had many conversations with his lovely secretary who has been extremely informative, understanding, helpful and has helped me trust I have made the right decision choosing this Doctor. I am trying not to get my hopes too high incase the appointment does not reach my expectations, however I am still very excited. I have prepared a list of questions to ask in the appointment so I know exactly where I stand and what treatment options are available to be.
I look forward to Saturdays appointment revealing my next steps!
I have had a rather busy and sociable week. It has been completely brilliant and was a slight taste of ‘normality’ for me. Normality and independence are something that I desperately cling to, as I refuse to give in to Benedict’s attempts to seize control and conquer my body. However, when you have Dystonia a busy day is enough to exhaust you, so a busy week was perhaps a step to far. I still think this week was so worth the last few days of Dystonic antics though!
Benedict, my little unwelcome Dystonia alien, decided to start playing up on Friday night. My right hand/arm had gone into a spasm, and started to tremor, my head also had a tremor going on that looked like I was shaking my head to say no very fast, and my back decided to bend backwards, in an attempt to fold me in half. As you can imagine this was extremely painful and rather distressing.
Then last night my leg decided to spasm. Now normally I can just about control my emotions when my Dystonia plays up. Usually it is only a few choice colourful words that escape beyond my spasming lips. However this particular leg spasm was agony, and had me in floods of tears due to the pain. Then my arm decided to join in. By this point I was extremely upset, and rather angry at myself for giving in and letting out my emotional response to the spasm. Yet they do say that a cry now and then is healthy, so perhaps I actually did myself a favour.
Today was also eventful. Even though the day was relaxed, we just sat quietly at home, as my grandparents and my man were visiting, my body still deemed it necessary to act up. I can only presume that the many activities I have done this week had triggered the hideous spasms I have experienced over the last 48-72 hours. I woke up at 5:30 am this morning to my arm spasming and my head doing its no no tremor. Then my leg put up a big fuss when I attempted to get dressed. Through-out today my arm/hand has been having spasms and tremors often and violently. At one point I honestly though that if the spasm carried on for much longer then my shoulder would end up dislocated – thankfully it eventually ceased. At other moments in time the tremor in my arm was so violent that I ended up hitting me sister.
I have currently given in to the spasms and pain, and retreated to the quietness of my room. However I have not come here to dwell on the problematic issues that Dystonia causes. I have returned to my room, to relish in the memories of the week, to mentally high five myself for the accomplishments I have made and to look forward to the days ahead. I cannot wait for tomorrow afternoon to have a consultation with a personal trainer that I hope to work with. The beauty of having Dystonia is that you know that even on bad days that things can only get better! There is so much to look forward to!!!!
At this very moment in time, I feel like my body spent the whole of last night trying to get back at me for writing a positive post yesterday. I had spent the whole of yesterday feeling rather odd, like half my brain was missing and the other half was covered in fog. By the evening my jaw was really playing up, with my dystonia pulling each side of my face in opposite directions, which was agony, this of course then led on to hours of Non Epileptic Seizures. Consequently I have woken up this morning feeling like my body has been run over by a bulldozer and my head been repeatedly hit by a hammer. However on the bright side of things, today my jaw Dystonia is a lot better than yesterday.
I have decided that today I shall completely avoid solid food and only consume softer food such as soup or yoghurt, in an attempt to try and prevent my Jaw from playing up so much, as I really want to be able to enjoy tonight’s New Years Party.
Tomorrow I plan on writing a letter to my consultant, to ask for a date for him to administer my injections and to ask for a plan to be put in place for future injections to be administered. I am hopeful that I shall not have to wait to much longer for these injections, considering he was meant to do them several weeks ago, but failed to give us a date.
I am hoping that the New Year shall be filled with positivity and improvement.