This afternoon I was up in London seeing my lovely neurologist. As usual I went armed with lots of questions. I feel very blessed that I see such a lovely man, who listens to everything I have to say. His manner is very calming, I hate needles, but his calm attitude puts me at complete ease, I would never let anyone else stick so many injections in me. I was excited to see him and to show him how much progress I have made with creating my life around my symptoms.
We went through all my queries before my injections and he was so helpful with each one. He is going to write to my GP explaining that I need the IV antibiotics for Lyme Disease, I am relieved he has agreed to do this as it means I do not have to argue with my GP about it. I have a severe intolerance to Lactose, which unfortunately all but one of medications contain. At first this was fine as my body was coping with the small amount, but now that it has slowly built up in system my body is reacting and is making my other medical conditions, e.g IBS, worse. The most annoying issue with it is that no matter how much time I sleep for I wake up feeling like I never went to sleep and I find it hard to keep going in the days, my neurologist has offered to get the pharmacy at the hospital to look into alternatives for me. This would make such a big difference. We have also juggled around my next two appointment to make sure that my jaw is in working order for Christmas and my 21st birthday.
We spoke about my functional paralysis and agreed that in a way it was positive as it was less disruptive to life, although it is not ideal. There is not much I can do other than take pain killers and try to stimulate the part that is paralysed in attempt to disrupt the incorrect signals that are being sent – this has not worked yet but I shall keep trying. I had my eyes, jaw and neck injected with Botox so my spasms shall continue to my kept in check and my jaw tremor should soon settle down for a few weeks.
It was a fantastic appointment. I am truly blessed to have such a wonderful neurologist looking after me.
This morning my mother and I travelled to Warwickshire to see an Infectious Disease Specialist who supposedly (according to his secretary) treats Chronic Lyme Disease. I left the appointment with extremely mixed feelings. On one hand I was rather disappointed and on the other hand I was satisfied with what he has said he shall do.
At the start of my appointment he made it rather clear that he did not really believe in chronic lyme and thought that ongoing lyme could be cured with a 4 week course of antibiotics. He also thought Lyme Disease could cure itself…I have not heard or read about this. After hearing about my life medical history and an examination he informed us that he was certain that I had had Lyme Disease for a few years but did not think that I still had it. However he said that I at least deserved to have testing done. Therefore he is going to write to my GP and have my GP arrange for me to have an IGM (that may be wrong) blood test and a lumbar puncture for PCP testing to see if there is any lyme in me. Lyme disease testing is inaccurate at the best of times and the fact that I am on antibiotics for Lyme Disease at the moment means that the antibodies shall be suppressed meaning a negative result is more likely. I expressed my concerns to the doctor, who admitted this could happen. However I am very happy he is going to ask for these tests to be arranged.
He was a lovely guy, however I am unsure how I feel about it all. I am going to go ahead with the tests. If they come back negative then I shall book myself into the Breakspear hospital and go through this all again. One big positive out of this appointment is that he confirmed our suspicions that I did have Lyme. That there, in my eyes, is the reason I have Dystonia. My neurologist admitted that they know that Lyme disease can cause Dystonia. It gives me some peace of mind to know that there is a reason behind it all. Now I just have to wait for the NHS to arrange these tests.
Today was just a slightly wobbly stepping stone to future treatment. One way or another I will get to where I need to be.
Yesterday afternoon I collapsed outside of my house and started having Non Epileptic seizures and Dystonic spasms. As I was not regaining consciousness I was rushed by ambulance (with blues and twos on) to my local hospital, where I was luckily treated by the lovely doctor who I had seen the last time I was there. The doctor remembered exactly who I was and even where the best place to take blood from me was! I was extremely impressed with how I was treated. I was unconscious for a couple of hours and have very little memory of the event.
Today I am rather sore, but I am also feeling inspired! My illness repeatedly puts me through hell and back, but its ok! I know that no matter what my little Dystonia alien throws at me, I will get through it. The image below depicts exactly how I am feeling.
Whilst Dystonia and Non Epileptic Attack Disorder are truly hideous conditions to have, I could be so much worse off. I could have cancer or another potentially life threatening disease! So I feel blessed that my condition merely limits me.
Through being ill I have had the privilege to talk to and meet some of the nicest people I have ever met. They all support me and give me strength! For example other bloggers and health activists; talking to them is a joy, as they can understand, advise and support me. Another great example are the amazing staff in the chemist by my doctors. I love going in there as I always get a warm welcome and have a quick chat, which puts me in a great mood.
I may suffer from a hideous condition, but I am so much more than just an ill person. I am a health activist, a fighter, I can be anything I want, and I can achieve anything I want. Just you wait and see!
This last week, has for me, been full of thoughts to chew on. This week, there has been many programmes on for Stand up to Cancer, all of them heart wrenching yet inspirational.These people have to live with a disease that may or may not kill them, their life is a huge unknown. Yet despite having this devastating illness, having to go through emotionally and physically painful treatment, and so much more, they hold their heads high and they try to live their lives to the fullest. They are truly inspirational.
This weekend particularly, I have thought about them. How much they have to cope with, the pain they must deal with. Over this weekend both my facial and foot spasms have played up. They have been both painful and debilitating. Yet I know that none of the games the dystonia alien plays will cause me any long-lasting harm. They are simply irritating and painful. A nuisance, that I must and will learn to put up with.
I have to count my lucky stars and be thankful. I may have a disease that is currently incurable, that causes pain, embarrassment and is debilitating, but with the right treatment my symptoms could be dramatically improved. My illness will not kill me. It has changed the path I was on but it will make me stronger for it. I have to be thankful for the disease I have. My life could be so much worse.