I hadn’t planned on writing this. Originally I was going to keep it pent-up. But the whole point of Dystonia and Me is to share with you all the highs and lows of this condition and the many battles I fight along the way. As I mentioned in a post during awareness week, I was abused physically and emotionally as a teenager. I have since had a lot of therapy to help me come to term with this and move on from that period of my life, which I have done. I have always strongly believed that you should be completely honest with your doctor. After all how else are they meant to successfully treat you if they do not have all the information they need?
The way many doctors have treated me after learning I have a history of abuse has left me wishing I had never informed them of it. This specifically applies to my GP. It seems that every aspect of my sanity has been called into question. I have never been so insulted. Yet it would seem that I am expected to roll over and accept this as the norm?!
My GP called me into a meeting to explain himself last week. At the time I was slightly pacified. Yet as I sit here, redrafting blog posts for college (exam prep), I find myself becoming incensed. This same routine has gone on for years now. Is it really so hard to believe that an abuse victim can move on with their life and be coping well, despite having a movement disorder? I am absolutely fed up of having to reassure him over and over that I am not depressed, that my past is not the route of all my problems. Even informing him that the genetic test showed that the Dystonia was genetic did not seem to make a dent in his warped view. As I keep pointing out to him, I am not the one dragging up my past it is him.
It worries me how little so many doctors know about Dystonia. My GP has looked after me since 2012, and yet still clings to the idea of abuse being the root of all my problems. This is despite having letters from my neurologist and my cognitive behavioral therapist telling him that my past has nothing to do with my Dystonia. I know that I am not the only sufferer experiencing this problem. Having to fight against doctors is hard. Standing up to them is frightening, I respect my GP, but at the same time he angers me so much because he is not taking the time to listen to myself or my neurologist. By standing up though there is a chance he may learn. I keep hoping…you never know. He may change.